Sarcasm Saturday!

After much thought and deliberation, I've decided to start a blog. I've struggled with the purpose of my blog, and have come to decide that it shall be multi-purpose. It shall be funny, serious, enlightening, educational, and intelligent. Oh, and should make me lots of money. Blogging is, after all, a get-rich-quick scheme is it not?

Anyway, I'm thinking that each day might get it's own theme and today, and future Saturday's, will be known as 'Sarcasm Saturday'. I just 'lurve' me some sarcasms. So, today's first topic will be a touchy topic. Well, maybe not so 'touchy'.

"Trucksticles".

Why does anyone think that their automobile needs a set of genitalia?!? And why, more specifically, male genitalia? (more about this later) Do these mal-mannered motorists feel the need for molded man mounds to better relate to their vehicles? Does it help them to personify their rides? Why do people do this? Let's explore some possible reasons:

1. They Just Look "Cool"
"Yep, that there's my truck. Notice his do-dadz?", Nick points and proudly exclaims as he meets his fiance's grandparents for the first time.

2. They're "Manly"
"Yeah, I just love admiring a great set of testicles, don't you?", Robert asks inquisitively of his his friends as they drink beer outside of the local Wal Mart.

3. They're "Funny"
"Her reaction just cracks me up!", Jared exclaims, much to her mother's discontent, of the 5 year old child batting his vehicle's private parts around.

4. They're Anatomically Correct
Yeah, if your truck was Richard Simmons!!!

5. They're Perfectly Acceptable In Today's Society
"Thank you, sir, for the job interview. Oh, that's me in the four wheel drive Dodge Ram, painted in Rhino Liner with the 'Get-R-Done' sticker and the flesh-tone truck nads, with realistic 'veining'. I'll be anxiously awaiting you decision on the branch office manager position", Stewart said, excitedly, as he shook Mr. Mahoney's hand vigorously.


And lastly, why do all trucks have to be male? Why don't the makers of the prosthetic genitalia for vehicles make female products? Why are there no truck girlie bits? For years, musicians have named their instruments of choice after women and it's been right. BB King has had a long standing relationship with his Gibson ES-355 variant, Lucille. It just wouldn't be the same if he had been caressing 'Luther' on stage all these years. If that was the case, I'd have to say the thrill was gone a looong time ago. So, do these truck nutz fans name their rides? "Come on, Daryl! Let's jump in sweet Bruce here and go get dirty!" What?!? "I mean, let's go mud riding, grunt, grunt!" Besides, if all trucks were males, how would they reproduce? Asexually?

Remember...
Friends don't let friends put 'do-dads' on their trucks...